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March 19, 2013
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Illustrious flickers
   glinting the mirage of your insanity
Bright, vibrant;
 I catch the waves
      drifting silkily
        in the air
You are a frog's tongue
   enigmatically leaping-
                charged.

But I, I am the mirror -
         watching your joy
   wistful and longing to take part
I am as the creek; lovingly massaging
      the rock below

And while I am
     but the mirror
I can see the darkness cast aside
I can see you shun
   all but your wick;
I can see you shun your wax
For I am your mirror.
Written 3.04.2013

This was written as a response poem off of the quote: "There are two ways of spreading light to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." - Edith Wharton

I found this quote a while ago and loved it. After adding it as a prompt for my English Composition class, I began doodling and writing my own response as well.

Critique for TWR: [link]


1. What do you think of the response and correlation to the quote?
2. How was this as a stand alone piece?
3. Any additional critiques/comments/etc
Add a Comment:
 
:icontakemyplanet:
takemyplanet Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
1) I think it's quite eloquent and fitting for the quote.
2) I love the contrast between fire and water you convey in the piece. It makes for lovely imagery.
3) Great job!
Reply
:iconndris970:
ndris970 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! I appreciate the comment.
Reply
:iconisabellamichel:
IsabellaMichel Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Student Writer
This is so brilliant. I absolutely love this.

There are so many things:

"you are the frog's tongue
enigmatically leaping;
charged." :D

I really like the "last" bits of the stanzas it seems because the "lovingly massaging the rock below"
is the next one that comes to mind that makes me super happy from the wonderful imagery in this.

"i can see you shun
all but your wick;
I can see you shun your wax
for i am your mirror."

:faint:

This truly IS a piece for the written revolution.

I thin the response between the quote is good. I know that the quote sort of implies that the light and the candle sort of coincide with each other when it comes to reflecting, but I think this was a wonderful justice to Wharton's quote.

As a standalone piece this was great. Good rhythm, I thought and there were a lot of pieces of imagery, as I said before, which really stood out. I think you tell a bit of a story and that it's nice as a standalone.

I suppose my "additional" feedback was said before I gave you feedback to your two previous questions :giggle: I really adored this piece. I'm glad that you found inspiration in Wharton's quote. :nod: I've only read "The Age of Innocence" but I really enjoyed it myself.
Reply
:iconndris970:
ndris970 Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much ^_^
Reply
:iconisabellamichel:
IsabellaMichel Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Student Writer
You're quite welcome. ^^
Reply
:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Student Writer
1. What do you think of the response and correlation to the quote?

I think its very smooth. Complex, but still easy to see how it has been influenced by the quote.

2. How was this as a stand alone piece?

I still liked it! At first I thought it was some kind of metaphor for some kind of cruel girl/ manipulative, pseudo-sociopathic popular girl at high school and your calm reaction to it, but now I see that wasn't at all the meaning behind the poem xD

3. Any additional critiques/comments/etc

I like the imagery, it really stands out. "You are a frog's tongue/ enigmatically leaping-/ charged" was practically genius in my mind, very original and striking words. It feels really fluid, which I like.
Reply
:iconndris970:
ndris970 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! I appreciate the comment.
Reply
:iconrazputin42:
Razputin42 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
We might have a different understand of what the quote means by spreading light, or at least so I am lead to believe. Especially by the first stanza and the whole insanity bit. I think you're idea (and this is a great big bunch of guesswork, you're very welcome to correct me if I'm wrong) is more of an insane artistic-like emotion. Like a feeling of creative chaos, or something of the like.
The candle might be seen as a joyful person, bright and vibrant as you yourself say, while the mirror, your persona for the poem, is a representation of people envious of the first persons frivolous joy. In longing for the same thing the mirror mirrors. The mirror can however also see what is wrong, the cracks in the person it reflects.
This whole piece kind of reminds me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

As a standalone piece it's still very good, however the quote helped me getting a better understanding of what I think it's about (again, I'm usually wrong, so please correct me ^^')

I really like your work. I haven't read too much of it, but noticed that I had thrown a watch in your direction. Which this piece reaffirms my reason for doing. Keep at it!

P.S. The more I think about it, the more I get different ideas of what it's about. It relates to me well, is what I'm getting at I think.
Reply
:iconndris970:
ndris970 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, I never really went into the "insanity" portion as a whole. However, it still fits well.

To me, light was referencing the typical sense of "morals" "good" and "happiness" while the mirror, by being an outsider, realized that the definitions and limits of those parameters are narrow-minded and ignore those outside the preconceived box.

So while there is a dark longing with some envy associated with "the flame" it's sort of a sadness at realizing the flame is missing so much more depth from the world since it resides in it's own limits.
Reply
:iconrazputin42:
Razputin42 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That makes excellent sense :) Thank you for clarifying that for me.
Reply
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